Learn how to communicate directly with your lover's heart. Sing or play the perfect song for her; it's the language of emotions!
Ever wonder why your friends would fall in love with the lead vocalist of a band AT EVERY CONCERT! What did they know about these lead singers that you couldn't see? Was it the greasy hair? Was it the malnourished bodies, clearly fueled by a consistent dose of drugs and alcohol? Nope. These lead singers, whether they knew it or not, we making acoustical sounds that connected directly with hundreds of hearts in the crowd leading my friends to feel like they were falling in love. These one-hit wonders were speaking the language of emotions: MUSIC.
I myself am too logical, sometimes to a flaw. I can talk my way out of any logical situation, but sometimes I miss the big picture and only find out later I was tricked by logic. People aren't controlled by logic, they are moved and make decisions based on their emotions, their animal instincts (sometimes they call it "going with your gut").
For me, it takes a little more than a gut feeling to make me believe; so for all you logical-first people out there, let's get some security in the comforting world of science.
Why Music to Communicate Love?
Communication of emotions is important to both relationships and survival. For example, many many many years ago, we had to worry about surviving, like avoiding predators, finding food, competing for resources, and caring for offspring. Today, things are much different...wait, maybe they aren't. Today, we have to communicate our emotions as well, like telling someone no-means-no (avoiding predators), where the best sushi in town is located (finding food), showing your boss you're committed to the company mission (competing for resources), and providing emotional security for your baby boy (caring for offspring). Expression of emotions allows individuals to communicate important information to others, which affects behaviors of people around you. And of particular importance today in the era of online dating, communication of emotion helps you differentiate to find and earn the love of you potential life partner.
Why sing when it is easier to tell someone?
Effectiveness. Researchers Juslin and Laukka (2003) at Uppsala University in Sweeden argued that "musicians communicate emotions to listeners via their performances of music by using emotion-specific patterns of acoustic cues derived from vocal expression of emotion." In other words, musicians have learned the secret sauce to winning over your heart. THOSE LEAD SINGERS WERE CHEATING AND YOUR FRIENDS FELL FOR IT! In particular, Juslin and Laukka (2003) hypothesized that "music developed from a means of emotion sharing and communication to an art form in its own right."
5 Findings on Your Way to Love
- Communication of emotions is understood well above the accuracy that would be expected by chance alone (i.e., There is more to music than luck);
- Vocal expression of emotion is cross-culturally accurate (i.e., Music speaks to hearts regardless of language);
- Ability to understand basic emotions from vocal expression and music performance develops in early childhood at least, perhaps even in infancy (i.e., Babies understand music before they learn words);
- Music performance uses largely the same emotion-specific patterns of acoustic cues as vocal expression (i.e., Music has developed specific sound patterns similar to vocal expression showing its communication value); and
- Emotion-specific patterns of acoustic cues that can be used to communicate discrete emotions in both vocal and musical expression of emotion (i.e., Music actually communicates identifiable emotions, even without words). Juslin and Laukka (2003).
Lesson: Be Direct, Talk Directly to Her Heart with Music
Stop trying to figure our how to tell someone you love them. Sing. Better yet, sign up for a music class and learn how to sing it to them, or if you can't sing at all, learn how to play a song on an instrument. Learn the language of love, music. At the very least, even if you are a terrible singer, maybe your loved one will be logical like me and will see the effort you put into it and realize you are committed to love.
See Juslin, P. N. & Laukka, P. (2003). Communication of emotions in vocal expression and music performance: Different channels, same code? Psychological Bulletin, 129(5), 770-814.